Avocado Boy

The Coop has a requirement: HIRE ATTRACTIVE YOUNG MEN. There was once a beautiful man in the deli section. He had gorgeous curly black hair and blue eyes, he has since disappeared. However, Avocado boy is still there. He is a greasy black haired emo-ish boy that looks like a very angsty young man. The most important distinguishing mark is his avocado tattoos. He has half of an avocado tattooted on one arm, and its mirror half on the other. I've never seen such an original, hot, lovely, artistic, well done tattoo.

Either Pearl Jam copied him, or he copied Pearl Jam. I'm guessing he is too cool to copy anyone, let alone Pearl Jam (but don't get me wrong, I like Pearl Jam).

Anyhow, today I also saw a new boy in the produce section. Tall, skinny, brunette, indie-ish attire. A+ for sexy.


And in other news, I got new shoes today, and they are leathery and I like them, except I will never wear them because I am a horrible person. :D yay!

ok Beijos

<3

Grrrr..rrrrrrr..rrrr

Shaaa. Ok. So, I am frustrated to the extreme at the moment, and I can't stop it. I'm not being good enough to Fedya. I try to bake him things all the time, and be an adoring loving bird, but sometimes I fail miserably.

Why am I so terrible at this. I do adore him sooo much, I just have problems acting on it? I can be affectionate as a drugged kitten sometimes, and then horribly cold and distant other times. He needs something better than that.

Agh. Agh. Agh. and then there are my other feelings. The ones I try to kill dead. But the more I try to kill them, the more they try to kill me.

oi.

<3

maybe too personal?

I clearly must be either emo or on crack.. and where is why:

1. List some things you want to say to 15 different people but you know you probably never will.
2. Don't say who they are.
3. Feel free to comment, but don't confirm or answer anything.
4. In most cases, never discuss it again.

ok, I really most likely don't have 15 people, but we shall see how far I get.

1. I <3 you so much, but I'm really sad that there are certain conversational topics that seem really taboo between us. We have had some of the most awesome times ever, yet sometimes I feel like you don't feel you can trust me, and it makes me really sad. Actually, I think about it a lot, and I know its mostly my fault but... yeah.

2. I have really mixed feelings about you. You fascinate me in so manys ways, yet we've always maintained a very formal realtionship which just adds a sense of mystique to the whole bit. You make me laugh when I most need it, and sometimes I feel you care about me more than the people who I actually spend time with. You've got an unforgettable face, and I'm glad we've met. I feel guilty admitting to this. ufff

3. Ok... I'm really sorry for stringing you along since sophomore year and toying you. It was really horrible of me, but I really did like you for a good 2 months. Neither of us acted on it and feelings grew stale I guess. I wish we could be friends though because recently you've been really cold and angry with me, and we used to be able to talk pretty openly about whatever. Sorry for being immature.

4. I'm glad we don't hate each other anymore!!! I was such a bitchy child back in the day, but I'm mostly over that stage and I think you are awesome. You are one of the most mature people I know and I really admire you, but sometimes you worry me. I want you to be happy, and somedays you look so down. :'( I'm sorry for insulting your cat. <3 <3 kitty.

5. You are adorable, absolutely adorable. Most everything about you is endearing, although I wish you were more talkative. You impress me with your vast vocubulary and reading list. Although, I feel very very guilty sometimes, you know why. You also know that she was better than me in so many ways... and I officially suck at life for even committing this to writing.

6. Disgusting HORRID BITCH. I hope you burn in hell for all the people you've made suffer. You are a two-faced scheming whore and if I saw you again and you gave me that little half smile that says, "MM, I hate you but I'm humouring you all the same" I swear I would back hand you. You are unconsiderate of everyone around you and someday you will suffer in life. KARMA IS EVEN MORE OF A BITCH THAN YOU ARE... so watch your back.

7. Jaja... You are full of stories and good times. I hope I never piss you off as I've seen others do. Just don't die, because sometimes that scares me.

8. YAY... OH SO many good times, like explaining male anatomy with lax sticks, and mating howler monkeys, and penis envy, and lemondage sales, and cello clarinet duets on the street ETC. I'm sorry for burning our bridge sophomore year, but I'm happy we rebuilt it!. Exchanges bring folks together eh? WE can always talk about anything, you make me feel TOO comfortbale sometimes. oh oh oh...

9. You don't speak english, and you will never read this anyhow but thanks for being my boat. You were always steadfast when the seas were rocky and the waves were whipping me about. You look like the lead singer of my chemical romance, and that bothers me a lot. You have a horrid personality though, other than helping me out, you should work on that.

10. You are another disgusting whore. Who ever told you it was a good idea to sleep with everyones boyfriends? OH THATS RIGHT, your mother, who is also a slut. You are even more scheming and backstabbing than the person mentioned in number 6. I don't know where on earth you got the idea that it would be ok to visit me in the States someday, but you are poorly mistaken. You trampled on me so many times, and put me in too many awkward situations to count. I continued to back you up and you continued to tear me down. I took you on our family vacaciones and you repaid me by stealing my fucking clothes. WTF MATE? Yes, so you spread vicious rumours about me, slept with Felipe, used me, and stole my clothes. Latin America has you to thank for its bad reputation (and STD epidemic).


I think thats it... Wow. A+ for catharsis eh?

<3

Overdosing and Making Boys cry

Bad bad bad experience with Unkle V. Turns out, what I assumed were 5 mg tablets, were actually 7.5 mg. It also turns out that 3 7.5 tablets is not the best of ideas when you haven't taken any opiods in years. For those that are counting, 22.5 mg of hydrocodone is not GOOD. I woke up the next morning, not being able to feel my skin, vomiting, almost passing out, itching all over, and it was really quite terrible. I suppose it wasn't really overdosing, but I suspect a 4th pill would have had me in the hospital.

And, on making boys cry: There was an incident, that I'm sure some people remember, dating back to the summer after my junior year I do believe, in which, I ended up on a particular floor, after drinking a very particular amount of vodka mixed with gatorade, and some particular things ended up happening. Well, it has always been the day I most regret, and if it were possible to regret it anymore... uffff. I thought I had buried that day, deep deep deep. But not deep enough I found out last night.

Aleksandra: If there is anything that bothers you about me, let me know, I don't care how small it is, just tell me.
Fedya: Ok, and same goes for you.
*pause*
A: You don't look ok, is there something?
F: Well... no, its not important.
A: But your face...
F: Well, I heard that something happened with you and Osama.
A: *curls up in a ball and starts to cry*

The rest is just too painful to detail. Forgive me...


<3

Waaajaja... God woke up!

In spanish class, the teacher is reading us a book, and it keeps reiterating that when someone really wants something and its meant to be, the rest of the world conspires to help. it must be true, that, or god woke up. God gave me a gift, and I have used it. and I love it.

Thank you world, thank you god, thank you friends who care enough to tell me not to anyway...

Oh. The warmth. The warmth from the inside out. The Fuzzy delciousness that envelops me.

Now for some Dandy Warhols, and deep deep dreams.

<3

BE PREPARED

So, last night after volunteering muh ass off and putting a temporary tatt on some ladies boob, I went to Merritt's with Konstantin. Some old folk from college showed up, namely the stupid fat hobbit, who is not so stupid and fat anymore, and his girlfriend. His girlfriend just glared at me after we went to the jukebox to choose some classy toons, like "Wank me, Crank me". Then Yuri and Fedya showed up and it made me feel awkward.

Later, Fedya ended up driving Yuri and I to the little mormon squirrel's house, Yuri's college aged woman was there, and it was nice to see her. But i accidentally swore loudly, and decided it was time to leave...

I miss college people. Especially Katinka.

The Biggest Guilt Trip Ever

Sooo then, I'm pretty much amoung some of the most horrid people ever. I still feel guilty about the Katinka/Fedya thing. Saturday I got over it a bit, but since then, I've thought more and the guilt again increases.

For example, He says things that Katinka used to say. He quotes Cat and Girl, and says the little thing about putting the Emphasis on the wrong syllable etc. Then of course, the music. While listening to EMO CD # 3 again last night I realized that a lot of the songs were familiar... They are also on the Fedya CD. I really can't compete with pretentious music. They are too perfect for each other.

Now of course things have grown awkward. I mentioned Club Lamprey, and it went like this:

Aleksandra: Yeaaaah, Club Lamprey is my favourite group on Facebook
Fedya:(with a huge smile) Once in Biology Katinka and I *checks enthusiasm trying to appear like it wasn't actually that amusing while giving me a scared look* and well... um, we talked about a horror movie about Lamprey... I guess that's not very interesting.

UFFFF seriously!!! Its not a big deal to tell me about some Katinka anecdote, there is nothing wrong with that! I can handle myself! I <3 Katinka.

Anyhow, another factor that comes into play with my guilt, is that I feel like I was too forceful. Its as if I placed the idea in Fedya's head with the Weekley thing. Katinka on the other hand won him over just by being herself, through constant biology onda. Uff. yeah ok. I'm done

<3